Society has taught has that spending time alone is a negative thing to do. That every negative condition is associated with loneliness – if you’re feeling a bit blue and want to spend some time alone, your friends would pressure you to go out and be around people to feel better.
As kids, nobody taught us to enjoy solitude. It’s always spending some time with your siblings, with your friends, with your parents, going outside, or playing some sports. No one has ever told us to “go spend some time alone” or how to actually do it.
Spending time alone, or “solitude” is a concept frowned upon in our society, especially when it’s so hard to do so. Even if we’re not physically in touch with others, we’re always connected via social media platforms.
We survive on dopamine hits that come from messages we receive from others – that the thought of spending time alone without rushing around or staying connected to our friends seems like the most torturous thing anyone can do.
There’s a significant difference between “solitude” and “loneliness”. Solitude is when you make a conscious choice to spend time alone – fully with yourself. Loneliness is when you are forced to spend time alone because you think that you have no one.
Even though both sound similar, they’re completely different. In fact, an important part of improving your self-awareness is spending time alone reflecting on your thoughts, letting them flow freely, being comfortable by yourself, and finding clarity without the chaos of the outside world.
Benefits of solitude – spending time alone
Spending time alone has been proven to have positive long-term effects on us, here are some:
It boosts your internal validation
Because we’re so used to validating ourselves externally – likes on posts, the opposite gender hopping in our DMs, getting messages from friends, and many other ways, it became harder to internally validate ourselves. So, the more you don’t rely on the external world for validation, the more you’ll learn to give it to yourself.
You’ll become more comfortable with yourself and more authentic. This is return will reflect on all your life choices. For instance, you won’t rush into a relationship because you want to feel loved – you’ve already given yourself that. You’ll know what you bring to the table and align your life decisions accordingly.
Gives you time to make things more clear
In almost every aspect of our lives, we plan things out – except for our life plan and what we intend to do. At work, there are weekly business meetings for planning. In training, there are workout and nutrition plans. We even schedule our nail salon visits. But, when it comes to spending time alone to plan our life, we turn our backs because that’s uncommon and boring.
Taking a break from the chaotic world to sit down and plan what you want to do with your life – whether you’re aligned with your values, if you’re genuinely happy with how things are going, or are you going with the flow, reflecting on your dreams and making sure you still work towards them… these things ensure that you’re still in sync with who you are.
Better mental health
According to studies, solitude has been linked to improved mental health. Those who know how to spend time alone and do it often are less likely to suffer from depression and have lower stress levels than those who don’t spend time with themselves.
Creativity boost
It has been proven that people who spend time alone are more creative than those who don’t. That’s because spending time alone gives your mind some time to work on these creative juices that have been knocked down by the outside-world stress.
You’re not fixated on other things, so your mind wanders into your imagination and comes up with creative ideas and thoughts you never knew you had. Many successful people around the world have preached their walks in nature because that’s when they get the best ideas.
It makes you more authentic
Because you’re not influenced by what’s going on around you, you dig deeper into who you truly are without worrying about the outside stimuli. The exposure we get from social media has made it hard for us to know who we actually are and what we love. Because there are so many opinions, styles, tastes, lifestyle routines, advice…
We drift apart what we truly like and don’t like because we don’t trust ourselves. Spending time alone gives you the chance to reflect on who you truly are. You become more sure of your decisions, your choices, develop your own persona, and learn more about yourself.
How to enjoy spending time alone
Spending time alone doesn’t require you to book a trip to the Bahamas or rent a studio alone in the woods. It could be simple and enjoyable without requiring you to leave everything behind. Don’t forget that to reap the benefits of solitude, it’s recommended that you practice it frequently.
Here are some ways to spend time alone:
- xperiment with different hobbies
If you find it torturous to spend time alone, it’s probably because it bores you to death. If that’s the case, then it’s time to explore some hobbies and find your groove. Utilize that time alone to try new things – painting, knitting, reading, coloring… whatever catches your attention, give it a try. You’ll be surprised by the potential you have.
- Stay disconnected
Remember that an important step of practicing alone time is to actually stay alone – without any distractions, and that includes your phone. Having your phone with you means that you’re still connected to the outside world, and we don’t want that – it kills the whole purpose.
Teach yourself to disconnect when necessary by leaving your phone in another room when you’re spending time alone.
- Use this time for self-improvement
You have been wanting to start a lot of things for some time, but can’t take the time for it. Now is your chance to work on these things. For instance, the e-commerce store you’ve been wanting to launch, the musical instrument you’ve been wanting to learn, or new ways of moving your body such as running or dancing.
Whatever it is, use this alone time to improve yourself.
- Learn to relax
Many of us struggle to do the easiest thing there is to do on the planet – relax. This leads us to become overstressed. Some of us find an outlet to release the stress, others turn to alcohol or substance use.
Although there’s nothing wrong with utilizing that time alone to check some things on your list, it’s sometimes crucial that you don’t do anything and completely relax. Turn on a movies marathon of Netflix, do a skincare day, or even stretch. Whatever it is that makes you feel relaxed, do more of it.
- Journaling
Journaling has many benefits that are underestimated. Personally, I used to think that writing down my thoughts was a waste of time and won’t benefit me whatsoever until I tried it for some time. And ever since, I’ve been hooked.
As a person who tends to overshare every single detail of her life, my journal is now my best friend. I can now pour on whatever’s in my mind without worrying that I might regret it later (which I did many times).
I’m the truest version of myself when I journal and it encourages me to become that person outside of “my little world”. So, get yourself a good-looking journal and write down everything that comes to your mind. You’ll be surprised by how much clarity it brings to your life.
- Reflect on yourself
Spending time alone is one of the best self-care practices. Notice what you’re feeling. Are you feeling stressed? How is your mental health doing? How are your relationships with others? Are you proud of the person you’re becoming? What do you think you need right now? And why is that?
Spend your time alone exploring these questions. It makes you more aligned with yourself and increases your self-awareness tremendously.
Conclusion
Spending time alone is one of the most lucrative life skills you’ll ever learn. It’s not a practice to be overlooked. In fact, it will improve your life in so many ways – more than you can imagine. So, it’s time to let go of some of your plans, spend time alone, put your phone down, and enjoy spending time with the most important person in your life – you.