The majority of people think that to feel stressed, you need to have something big going on in your life or are going through a dramatic life change, but that’s not how it goes. The truth is, you can feel stressed from a series of small events or situations that put constant pressure on you.
These events can be as simple as waking up to a pile of dirty dishes every day, getting back home to an unmade bed, not finding quiet time for yourself, struggling with managing your time, etc… there are so many reasons to feel stressed, and to tell yourself that they’re not significant enough, especially with everything going on in the world right now, is the first step in invalidating your feelings.
Big or small, whatever is bothering you is valid and can have a huge effect on your quality of life. So, before I tell you the things that have been helping me when I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed, write down – or type in your notes – the things (big or small) that make you feel stressed and overwhelmed with life.
Stress is inevitable. No one can ever live with zero stress in their lives. Even if your corporate job has been stressing you out and you manage to start a successful business, the burden of running things on your own will follow. However, with habits and systems, we can reduce stress in our lives so we don’t reach the point of burnout.
Here are some habits I swear by to overcome stress and feeling overwhelmed:
- Find ways to balance your day
- Let go of the arbitrary rules in your head
- Don’t give work all your time
- Practice more mindfulness
- Choose progress over perfection
- Learn to manage your time
- Reflect on what’s causing you stress
1. Find ways to balance your day
We need harmony to feel balanced. We can’t go on with every day without a plan because you’ll end up neglecting your needs for more hours of work or wasting time thinking about what you need to do, or even if you do rest, you’ll feel guilty because you could be doing something ‘better’ with your time.
That’s why allocating time for work, time for yourself, your family, your friends, and some self-care practices will help a lot with stress. When we wake up with tons of things on our minds with no planning, we become confused and overwhelmed. I know it’s not always realistic to follow your exact schedule, but having one does take a lot of work off your brain.
2. Let go of the arbitrary rules in your head
I have noticed that there are some rules in my head that make my life a lot harder than it should be. They feel like hurdles that no one can see but me if that makes any sense. I don’t know if you can relate to this, but if you do, it’s time to let them go.
For instance, I don’t allow myself to leave the office unless I’ve replied to every single e-mail in my inbox, even when I’m not obliged to do so. Another thing is that I waste all morning if I have an appointment by 1 PM even if they’re hours apart and there’s time to do something else. Think about what arbitrary rules you have made in your head, write them down, and make a conscious effort to break them even if it feels uncomfortable (which it will) to make your life easier and less stressful.
3. Don’t give work all your time
We’re not living in some fictional universe where we can just leave our jobs or neglect our business when things get stressful. However, we sure can take care of ourselves in ways that leave us recharged to take on the day, do simple things that make us wake up excited for work, and make some time for ourselves.
4. Practice more mindfulness
Mindfulness looks different to everyone. For someone, it can look like a 5-minute guided meditation video in the morning. For another, going on a walk in the sun. Practicing mindfulness doesn’t mean that you need to allocate an hour of your day to go to meditate and do things you don’t feel excited about.
It can be as simple as leaving your phone while you eating, listening to the sound of birds, or noticing how beautiful the sunset is. Mindful practices make you more present and connected to the universe around you. They also help you find moments you’re grateful for in the middle of a busy day. Choose how you spend your day because how you spend your days, is how you spend your life.
5. Choose progress over perfection
As someone who’s a do-it-perfectly-or-not-at-all, I guarantee that this will never work out, and if it does, it comes with a cost to your wellbeing. I’m a perfectionist, not in everything I do, but in most things. I have unrealistic standards for myself that leave me feeling overwhelmed all the time.
Although there’s nothing wrong with trying to do things perfectly, it puts excessive stress on you and takes the fun out of things, especially if your work requires creativity. While it’s good to set high standards for yourself, remember that at the end of the day, we’re all humans and have a certain capacity for the amount of stress and work we can handle. Choose to see the progress you made, instead of the mistakes and parts you could have done better. As long as you’re getting better, you’re on the right track.
6. Learn to manage your time
One of the things that leave me overwhelmed is not managing my time. Learning how to manage your time is one of the best skills you’ll ever learn in life. Although I still have a long way to go, there’s this rule I’ve learned called the five-minute rule which simply means that you categorize your to-do list into tasks that need your undivided attention, and tasks that can take you five minutes to complete.
What makes this rule effective is that five minutes doesn’t seem intimidating – making it easier to start tasks and check things off your list. This doesn’t mean that you should cram unnecessary tasks into your day, but it’s a way to push through and motivates you to keep checking things off your list. Try it out and you’ll be surprised by the number of things you can do in a short period of time.
7. Reflect on what’s causing you stress
Lately, I have been reflecting on the things that bother me in my life and asking myself: do I even have control over these things? Because if they’re not, what am I going to do about it? Or why am I even putting myself through this? I understand that acknowledging that there are things beyond your control won’t make them go away, but it has a way of easing your mind.
No matter how hard we try, we can never control everything in our lives – other people’s feelings, actions, what they think about us, how the world works, etc… and there’s beauty in flowing through life and letting things be. The more you try to control things around you, the more anxious you’ll feel. You know that you don’t want to live carrying the weight of the world around you. So, instead of stressing over what you can’t control, focus more on what you can control and make it work in your means.