Ever since the ‘hustle mentality’ has been getting increasingly popular, people are glorifying being busy more than ever. The smaller the gaps in their daily schedules, the more their perceived self-worth increases, and supposedly, their worth to others.
Being busy isn’t necessarily a good sign — it could be both good and bad, depending on how the person manages their life. You can be busy all day, yet not do anything meaningful. And by meaningful, I mean effort exerted towards what YOU want in life — your goals, dreams, and a life that aligns with who you are.
To be honest, I used to overschedule myself to feel more important – more worthy – or maybe because I didn’t want to face who I was alone. “People are addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence,” says Tim Kreider in ‘The Busy Trap’.
Speaking for myself and many others, I know that I’m guilty of adding more tasks – and distractions – to my schedule to avoid what I have to face in my mind. Of course, life’s responsibilities and obligations sometimes take over our day, but this shouldn’t be how every day passes.
Because we’ve become accustomed to ‘stress’ and the state of the overwhelmed nervous system. We wear our infamous statement, “Oh, I’ve been so busy and stressed” as a badge of honor. We’ve forgotten how it feels like to be relaxed, and the benefits and incredible effects it has on our bodies – and productivity levels.
Stress leads to all sorts of issues – physical and mental ones. We feel stressed before even starting the day because we know that we’ve packed our schedules beyond our abilities, and yet, we push ourselves beyond the healthy limits to check all the boxes on our to-do lists.
We’ve become comfortable with being uncomfortable – and not in a good way. As humans, we enjoy familiar states, even if they’re negative ones. We’re so afraid of change that we’d rather stay in a state that’s affecting us than try something new.
We need to step back and be honest with ourselves. Ask yourself: “Why am I afraid to slow down a bit? Am I living in the present, or am I rushing from one thing to another in hopes of feeling fulfilled or happy with myself? Am I afraid that if I don’t check all the boxes, I’ll feel unworthy?”
Answering these questions honestly will help you decide whether you need to step back a bit, or if you’re doing fine and just need some time management.
The rise of Instagram reels and ‘lifestyle bloggers’ making reels about their daily routines and how much they have on their plates has manipulated us into thinking that our lives are boring – or too dull.
In fact, it’s completely normal, and even healthy, to have days when you’re completely free and have nothing to do except relax and maybe do some self-care activities. You don’t need to compare your life to others because those reels don’t show the full picture, and those bloggers are paid to post content. So, showing others how good their lives are is their job.
It’s completely fine to have busy lives, but it’s important that we don’t glorify busyness and allow it to become the essence of who we are. It’s important that we maintain a healthy work-life balance, and let go of the idea that you’re only as worthy as your ability to produce.
We’re human beings, not machines. We don’t live to be ‘useful’ or ‘productive’. We’re completely worthy and whole just by being. We’re all given the same 24 hours a day. Some of us know how to work, meet with friends, exercise, work on hobbies, spend time with family, and find time to relax.
The key here is to dig within yourself and identify what makes you want to be busy. And if you truly are because of life obligations and have no time to relax, consider hopping on the wagon of time management.
Also, psychologists have found that humans tend to talk about their negative experiences more than their positive ones. If you ask someone how their week went, they’ll tell you about that one horrible day instead of the other six ones that went just fine. That’s because negative events take place in your mind more than positive ones.
How do I stop being so busy?
The first thing to believe is that you’re in control of how you spend your days and that there’s always another choice. We all get the same 24 hours a day. So it’s your choice whether to overwhelm yourself with tasks and not do anything, or manage your time in a way that’s convenient to you – or say no to some things.
Find ways to destress so you can be more present. The less you’re overwhelmed and stressed by everything going on, the more you’re able to focus on the present moment and find more depth in your day – instead of unmindfully passing through the day.
Another important thing is to take care of your body through nutrition and movement. Your body needs fuel to function. Without proper nutrition, it’s normal to feel fatigued throughout the entire day. So make time for the important things like proper meals and movement. Get that daily boost of endorphins to combat the overwhelming feelings of the day.
A really important thing is to stop thinking about how busy you are and use it as the usual reply for every question someone asks you. It makes your brain hyper-fixated on the busyness and induces unnecessary stress. The more we focus on something, the more it takes place in our brains.
Make a mindful decision to take a few seconds to think before replying to people asking you about your day. You shouldn’t wear your overbooked schedule as a badge of honor. If anything, you should be proud of your ability to take care of yourself and still do the things you want to do. Not the other way around.
There’s more to life than work and being productive. Find those small things that make you happy and prioritize them. For example, I always make time for a 10-minute walk in the morning to work and have a slow morning routine even if the day is fully packed. It reminds me to prioritize myself each and every day.