Throughout my life, I’ve met some of those people who seem to have everything figured out – they go to work on time, exercise daily, have time for their family and friends, take care of themselves, and overall have their life put together.
I’ve always wondered: how can someone get themself to stay motivated every single day? Until I understood that it isn’t about motivation, persistence, or determination as much as it is about self-discipline.
Self-discipline is different than motivation, consistency, and determination because it’s an aspect you build upon every day – like a muscle, the more you train it, the stronger it becomes. It’s exactly the same with self-discipline.
The more you learn how to ignore distractions and do things without having to rely on your emotional or physical state to keep you going, the more you’ll develop self-discipline. It’s what pushes us to become the best version of ourselves and achieve what we want in life.
There’s this misconception that people who have developed strong self-discipline are constantly hustling and have no time for rest – which is nowhere near the truth. Self-discipline doesn’t just apply to your work obligations, it affects every other aspect of your life.
Practicing self-care consistently requires self-discipline, including all the pillar of self-care – physical, emotional, recreational, environmental, spiritual, and mental. Developing your self-discipline will help you take care of yourself in every way, even if you don’t feel like doing so. You let go of the idea of instant gratification and focus on the bigger picture.
What does self-discipline mean?
Self-discipline is a skill a person builds on when they are able to push forward, motivate themselves, and keep moving even if that’s the last thing they want to do. They choose to show up for themselves every day and don’t distract themselves with what doesn’t align with their goals or their journey.
What differs self-discipline from motivation is that self-discipline is the bigger picture – motivation leads to self-discipline, but not vice versa. And motivation is easily lost – one day you’re motivated and ready to change your entire life, another you don’t feel like doing anything. That’s when your self-discipline is tested.
How to become more self-disciplined
Self-discipline isn’t a skill you develop overnight – it needs persistence and constant practice to develop. The more you push yourself and focus on your goals without distracting yourself, the more you’ll build self-discipline.
However, it’s essential that you don’t start out too strong, or you’ll risk getting burnt out. It’s important that you have goals that are measurable and specific. Goals can be broken down into several small goals. Do this in the beginning to give you some momentum, and then add more over time.
Here’s how to gradually build self-discipline:
- Set clear goals
As mentioned, it’s important that you start slow. So, choose a single goal that you want to achieve. It could be anything. Maybe you want to write 50 blog posts a month, walk 8000 steps a day, or finish one book a month.
It could be something simpler such as decreasing your screen time or getting more sun exposure. Whatever it is, find a specific goal you want to achieve, and break it down into small goals.
- Motivate yourself
Now that you have that one goal in mind, and have broken it down into small actionable steps, ask yourself why you want to achieve it in the first place? Why is this goal so important to you? Answer these questions on a piece of paper so when you feel demotivated, you can go back and remind yourself.
Try to let go of the cliché reasons. For instance, if your goal is to stop eating junk food for a week, instead of telling yourself that you’re doing this to lose weight, tell yourself that you’re doing this to feel better about yourself… To feel lighter and to have more energy.
When you get clear on the reasons behind those goals, you’ll feel more motivated to do them.
- Know that there will be hard times
No one will live in a world without stressors. We all have things that could come in our way when we’re trying to work on our goals. A smart thing to do is to identify these obstacles and decide on a plan to overcome them.
For example, if your goal is to exercise 3 times a week, and you know that obligations can pop up and prevent you from going, try scheduling time before work or right after. Have a consistent training time so you don’t treat it like some leisure activity that you’ll find time to do.
Also, if you want to write 50 blog posts a month and find it hard to concentrate, leave your phone in another room or schedule a time for writing early in the morning before everyone wakes up.
- Get comfortable with unfamiliarity
As human beings, we’re likely comfortable with what’s familiar to us, even if it’s not the best thing for us. Some habits we have developed for a long time are now deeply embedded in us. And in an attempt to develop self-discipline, you need to let go of those habits.
Let go of habits that no longer serve the person you’re becoming. And yes, it’s uncomfortable at first because of how used your body is to those habits. To make it more bearable, replace those habits with better ones.
For instance, if you have a habit of scrolling through social media an hour before bedtime, replace it with reading. It makes up for that “empty” period before bedtime and is more beneficial for you.
If you’re trying to quit smoking and find it hard because every time you feel stressed you light a cigarette, make a conscious decision to self-soothe in a different way. Maybe go for a walk or do some stretches.
- Planning and monitoring
Planning makes life a hundred times easier. When you plan things, you’re more likely to stick to your goals because it takes off the mental effort of having to think of what you need to do every day and how to manage your schedule.
When you spend some time every week planning ahead, it makes it so much easier and smoother to achieve your goals. Also, monitoring progress shows you how far you’ve come so you stay more motivated.