According to Robert Sapolsky, a neuroscientist who studies dopamine in the brain, dopamine is not released when people receive a reward, it’s released in the brain in anticipation of a reward. And guess what happens when we aren’t anticipating any exciting events? The dopamine released in the brain gradually decreases, leading us to feel like we’re stuck in a rut.
When there are celebrations, gatherings, holidays, or life updates rolling around, you feel excited. But when things get back to your normal routine, it might seem like you’re stuck. Periods, when you don’t have any updates, could feel like you’re not doing anything with your life, but realistically speaking, life isn’t always filled with spontaneous events.
It’s normal for us to have ‘normal’ days; days that are stable, non-exciting, and overall pretty meh. Even those people on Instagram who seem to always have something exciting around the corner go through these periods, it’s just that they rarely announce it.
Having normal days doesn’t mean that they’re less enjoyable. It’s good to have exciting things happening, but it’s also good to learn how to get out of a rut when life is feeling stagnant and unmotivating…
Here is how to get out of an unmotivated rut.
1. Do things differently
We feel stuck in a rut when everything seems to be the same. So why not do things differently? Truth is, if you don’t do things in a different way, things will always be the same. Consider the very routine things you do in your life, and which of them can be switched up a bit.
Does your work allow for some flexibility? If not (like most of us), you can think of different ways to spend your “off-times”. Do you spend them with the same people doing the same things? Maybe you visit the same bar every Saturday, binge-watch Netflix after work, or cook the same meals every dinner.
Why not visit a new restaurant the next weekend? Call a friend you haven’t reached out to in a while and schedule a coffee date. Watch a documentary about something you know nothing about. Go to different workout classes — maybe try Pilates? If you’re into reading, you can switch to an entirely different genre. If you usually go on walks on a route, try a different one. When there’s nothing new happening, don’t wait for life to magically throw something exciting at you, make something new.
2. Practice self-regulation
Self-regulation might seem like a complex psychological term that’s hard to follow. However, it’s simply the ability to monitor and manage your energy states, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in the pursuit of long-term goals. I like to think of it as a way of pausing and thinking clearly, a way to reinforce negative thoughts before we spiral into a bad mood that lasts weeks or even months because we couldn’t pause our minds.
Self-talk is one of the best ways to self-regulate. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself, especially on bad days because that is how you make the situation either much worse or much better. Many of us talk ourselves into a bad mood without realizing it. So why not replace these negative thoughts with things a bit more healthier? Practice self-talk for a while, and you’ll notice how drastically your mood improves and you’ll feel more in control of your emotions.
3. Declutter and refresh
Your surroundings have a huge effect on how you feel emotionally. When your space is more organized, your mind is more clear. That’s because clutter causes stress by bombarding our minds with excess stimuli. When I’m feeling stuck in a rut, I like to give myself a feeling of refreshment by decluttering.
Do a closet-cleanse
You’re getting ready and the process feels daunting: there are too many clothes, not enough clothes, pieces that are out of style, pieces that no longer fit you, or things you have been searching for. Sounds familiar? When you reach that point, you know it’s time to declutter and refresh. When you have an unorganized closet that doesn’t support your best self, it makes you feel far from who you want to be.
Start by giving away the things you won’t wear anymore. As a rule, if it hasn’t been worn in the past two years, then it’s time for it to go. Make room for clothes that make you feel your best. Believe me, once you declutter, getting ready will be something you look forward to.
Switch things up in your house
As mentioned, our environment seriously affects our emotional state. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut or uninspired, it might be the best time to refresh your house a bit to give yourself that needed change. Refreshing doesn’t mean doing major (and expensive) renovations, you can give your house a refreshment without splurging. The change in your environment can make you feel more motivated or even inspire you to change other things in your routine.
4. Romanticize your life
Spend every day like you’re the star of a movie. Because the truth is, life is a movie and you’re the main character, only when you romanticize even the most mundane tasks in your life. Find a way around them to make them feel more movie-like. Oftentimes, we get stuck on what like was supposed to be like and forget that we can twist even the most mundane things into something exciting.
For instance, when you’re cooking lunch act like you’re in a live stream with millions of viewers waiting for you to teach them a new recipe. Try out a new recipe every Wednesday. Grab a cup of coffee from your favorite coffee shop on your way to work, and walk to that shop instead of driving. Throw yourself a salsa night while doing some house chores. Go get your nails done without an occasion. Find something exciting in the normal things in life. It’ll help you rely on yourself for happiness instead of waiting for the next ‘extraordinary’ life update to happen.
5. Try journaling
You’ve probably heard a hundred times about the benefits of journaling and how therapeutic it can be. But have you actually tried to give it a chance? When you give yourself space to write down whatever comes to mind, you give yourself permission to let go of all the negative thoughts that you’re thinking of.
The same goes for positive experiences. Journaling allows you to put them in the spotlight. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you have a lot of built-up emotions, and you need a safe space where you want to express yourself, grab a pen and your journal, and let it all out. It becomes interesting when you see how you’ve progressed over time by going through your old entries!
6. Don’t be afraid to be extra
On social media, you’ll find pictures of bloggers wearing astonishing outfits at regular places like the grocery store or their local coffee shop. Although I’m team comfy all the way, it doesn’t hurt to add that extra spice every once in a while. And with today’s trends, you can make a comfortable outfit look stylish by adding accessories or a statement bag.
So, even if you’re going for a simple errand, dress like you’re going to meet the love of your life today. Wear your favorite outfit, spritz that perfume, and add that killer gloss. It helps spice things up in your life, plus who knows? You might bump into someone you weren’t expecting.
7. Practice mindfulness
Oftentimes when we feel like life is dull, it’s because we’re living in the future. We’re looking for the next thing to excite us and forgetting that all that we have is the current moment and nothing else is promised. We expected life to be a certain way, and now we’re disappointed that it’s not. Practice mindfulness to focus on the present moment, instead of thinking of what you could’ve done better and what your life should look like right now.
8. Grow in any aspect of your life
When someone is ‘growing’ it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve made huge progress in their career, went through a spiritual awakening, or did any incredible transformation. It could be anything simple like progressing in a skill. When we’re too focused on the bigger picture instead of appreciating small progress, it’s normal to feel stuck.
One of the simplest ways to feel better is to make progress in any aspect you choose, no matter how small. It could be learning how to do arts and crafts on YouTube, building a side hustle, exploring new book genres, or learning about a different culture. The list of things to learn never ends, and thankfully, we have unlimited resources to learn whatever we want, whenever we want.
9. Be more impulsive
Being impulsive seems to be associated with being irresponsible and reckless, but no. It doesn’t have to be this way. Sometimes you have to be impulsive to push yourself out of your comfort zone, especially if you’re someone who tends to think too much about things.
Make fast decisions about things you have wanted to do, and who knows? You might turn this into something you do frequently. There are many impulsive things you can do that will increase your confidence and get you out of this rut like:
- Volunteer
- Visit that nearby city you’ve always wanted to see
- Book a spontaneous trip with your besties
- Sign up for that training class
- Get that haircut
- Go on that long hike
- Go out on a date
10. Break free from perfectionism
Perfectionism is the route to self-sabotage. That’s because it’s not real, and is unattainable. High standards are good to have and will take you forward in life, but perfectionism? It can lead to feelings of anxiety when you don’t reach it.
Instead, work on your version of perfectionism. What does your dream daily routine look like? Try to achieve that. What’s considered a happy life from your perspective? What quality of work makes you feel satisfied? What’s the income that will make you satisfied?
Try to focus on things that are aligned with who you are, and not what the idea of a perfect life looks like. And be realistic about it, because you don’t want to end in a self-sabotage spiral that you can’t get out of. Focus on your vision by putting in your best effort, and not worrying about reaching the ideal endpoint.