Sometimes I wonder, if there’s one thing I couldn’t imagine my day without, what would it be? I find myself automatically thinking about my mobile phone. Then, I ask myself: “Is there something wrong with me? Or is everyone like this?” According to statistics, it seems like I’m not alone – 92% of those surveyed admit that they show some level of fear and anxiety if they accidentally leave their phones.
I remember a few months ago when I was in a different country and my phone froze for a few hours… I completely panicked. I felt like I won’t be able to do anything for the rest of the day, and an even more horrific thought came into my head: what if my phone is completely broken? I don’t speak this country’s language, have no sense of direction (hello, Google Maps reliant), and haven’t relied on my brain for situations like this for a long time.
I noticed how these smartphones are now an intrinsic part of our lives, and how they really are… smart. They’re smart enough to control our lives and make us utterly reliant on them, for direction, entertainment, connection, calendars, dictionaries, electronic payments, everything.
I remember this phrase from “The Social Dilemma”, a documentary on Netflix speaking about how social media is controlling us: “If you’re not paying for the product, then you are the product.” And WOW did that hit me hard. We know that we’re the product, yet we can’t seem to do anything about it. That’s how powerful smartphones are.
For many of us, our phones are the first thing we interact with every morning, and the last thing we look at before bed. We receive all our needs from it: connection, validation, and even a sense of security. It’s incredible how this small device managed to control our lives to the point that we can’t function without it.
I noticed that lately I’ve been getting stressed easily and my focus level is almost non-existent, especially if it’s needed for a long duration. And then I thought about how most of us are not used to maintaining our focus for more than a few minutes. We have to check our phones every ten minutes. According to research, we check our phones on average 96 times a day, or every 10 minutes.
The more I started to monitor myself, the more worried I became. Are these symptoms related to my excessive use of social media? Am I becoming addicted to my phone? Is my increased screen time the reason behind my anxiety and reduced focus?
I remember a time just a few months ago when I was really busy, and yet, had so much energy to do a lot of things. And now that I’m always on my phone, I feel depleted after doing a few simple tasks. Is this related to my increased use of my smartphone?
And so I decided that that’s enough monitoring and I should do something about it. Will I completely quit social media? Nope. I decided that I should take things slow and see the effect it has on me. That’s when the experiment of “No-phone day once per week” came to me.
Here’s what I’ve noticed without a phone for a day:
1. Decreased phone-induced anxiety
Have you ever noticed how safe you feel when you have your phone? It gives you a sense of control–that you’re able to connect with anyone anytime you want or access any information you need. And just the thought of losing your phone is terrifying… I remember every time I can’t find my phone I get a mini heart attack. In other words, makes me extremely anxious.
But that’s not just me. There’s a word called “Nomophobia” – the fear of not having your smartphone with you. Dr. Nnacy Cheever, a researcher on the topic of the relationship between cellphone use and anxiety said, “The more people use their phones, the more anxious they are about using their phone.”
She suggests that anxiety that results from smartphone use operated on a positive feedback loop. Meaning that you feel anxious when you don’t use your phone, and the only relief from this anxiety is to use your phone. Until you learn how to break the loop.
The more connected you are, the more anxious you feel. And the more anxious you feel, the higher the possibility of other long-term effects like mental and physical health problems, since both are interrelated.
Here are some of the effects anxiety has on your body:
- Panic attacks
- Breathing problems
- Upset stomach
- Pounding heart
- Loss of libido
- Extreme fatigue
- Depression
- Headaches
- Irritability
- A sense of doom
- Increase in bloom pressure
- Muscle aches
But, how do I break free from this loop? I have to admit that the day I spend without my phone makes me feel very anxious. But, I knew this was temporary until I get used to having a no-phone day every week. And indeed, the more I did it, the less anxious I felt without my phone, and even on regular days, I didn’t feel compelled to view every notification I get. What I broke free from was the guilt of having to reply to every message I get on my phone, the distraction of the overwhelming amount of stimulus I get exposed to, and I could focus on doing REAL things for myself that gives me real Serotonin (the happiness hormone).
2. Productivity increase
You wake up and the first thing you do is check your phone. You say you’ll only take 10 minutes to reply to messages and check updates, but then you feel compelled to scroll through Instagram, or something interesting catches your interest… you end up spending two hours scrolling. Sounds familiar?
Having access to my phone all day disrupts my lifestyle and keeps me from maintaining my habits. I get distracted every few minutes when I focus on a task, and end up completing a 1-hour task in 3 hours because I have to check my phone every 10 minutes.
I have to admit, after spending a day without my phone, I couldn’t wait to check it and see who noticed that I wasn’t online for a while. I knew that these cravings were normal because my body was longing for that Dopamine boost that my phone constantly gives me. The pleasure and validation of getting attention and connecting with people digitally, or from posting a picture and getting lots of likes and comments are things we constantly want more of.
I knew that on an unconscious level, I was developing unhealthy habits. Without my phone, I was able to enjoy the simple things in life. I was able to finish things I wanted to do and have free time to do whatever I wanted. I could sleep well at night without waking up to check my phone because I knew I kept it away.
According to research, only having your smartphone reduced your available cognitive capacity. The results have been made obtained after two experiments indicating that even when people are successful at maintaining sustained attention–as when avoiding the temptation to check their phones–the mere presence of these devices reduces available cognitive capacity.
3. Less mental and physical laziness
Smartphones put the world at our fingertips and rarely leave our sides. So why even bother to use your brain to retrieve information, develop a sense of direction, or even make a simple calculation? Why would I take a simple walk to the grocery store when I can order what I need with a few clicks?
On my “No-Phone Day”, I felt the urge to reach for my phone when I woke up… just to check the time, but I didn’t. I thought about how on regular phone days when I “just wanted to check the time”, I end up scrolling for around 30 minutes before I even leave the bed. This habit kept developing until it felt unnormal to do something else. I was used to procrastinating important things to scroll through my phone in the morning wasting my focus prime time.
Your focus prime time – mental activity is a physical process that involves strengthening certain connections among the brain’s neurons. That ability to change the brain varies according to the time of day; in particular, it’s enhanced during the day and more difficult at night, according to The Guardian.
And when it was the time I dreaded the most–leaving my house without my smartphone. I would have never imagined that I could do this. What if there was an emergency and someone had to call me? What will I listen to in the car? And as someone who has the WORST sense of direction, how will I reach my destination without Google Maps? I mean, I get lost going to places I went to 20 times, how was I going to survive this?
But I was aware that this is because I was heavily dependent on Google Maps. it’s not that I lacked the ability to reach places, so I had to trust myself enough and depend on it. I have to admit that I missed blasting music while driving, but it’s fine. I knew it was all worth it.
The more I got used to leaving the house without my phone on the “No-Phone Days”, the more I couldn’t believe that I allowed my brain to be so dependent on an electronic device. I knew that it hindered my ability to remember routes and geographical reasoning.
My brain was under the effect of digital amnesia–meaning that I knew how easy it was to get any piece of information online, so I wouldn’t bother even using my brain to remember directions. And that’s the recipe for mental laziness.
4. Less social anxiety
Also, I noticed how I lacked the ability to connect with people in real life. There’s this group of friends, we’re constantly texting and seem like BFFs on social media, but when we meet in real life, we rarely know how to connect. I’m great at keeping up conversations via texting, but it’s nowhere near the same in real life. I began to notice how people are becoming less used to talking with others, and the moment awkwardness comes up, they reach out for their phones, myself included.
“There’s a strong connection between social anxiety and phone because of intolerance of uncertainty which is a transdiagnostic factor of many anxiety disorders and may explain why socially anxious people tend to use their phones as a coping mechanism.”, according to research.
Since social interactions, especially the ones between two strangers, are highly ambiguous, people would don’t tolerate uncertainty and would rather socialize digitally instead of in real life. They are afraid they would do something socially inappropriate, and not live up to the expectations people have of them. And with texting, there’s less opportunity for making social mistakes.
When I intensively researched the link between increased phone use and social anxiety, I was in shock. Coming from someone who sees themselves as highly sociable, all these signs applied to me. When I would get socially nervous, I would immediately reach out for my phone. And when there’s an uncomfortable conversation, I would rather text than talk. My ability to develop a deep connection with people decreased over time, especially after the global COVID-19 pandemic. And just like with everything else, the more you practice something, the better you get at it.
So, I took the decision to make an effort to deepen my connections with others by:
- Making more eye contact
- Smiling at them more
- Scheduling quality time with my friends
- Consciously communicate
- Be more present instead of daydreaming in the middle of a conversation
- Be authentically me and share life’s ups and downs
- Actively listen
Should I completely give up my phone for good?
Although I felt the negative effects being constantly connected to my phone had on me after a few “No-Phone Days”, I knew that I wasn’t ready to give up my phone once and for all. What I needed was to control that device, instead of letting it control me. Smartphones have immense potential to improve welfare, but their unmonitored use comes at a cost.
I decided that I will use my phone in my best interest without allowing it to have full control over my life. I knew that in this technological era, I couldn’t live without having a phone because it makes life much easier (in a good way). So, finding balance is the best way to take back control of your life
Here is what I did to break free from my phone addiction:
- I maintained my “No-Phone Days” once a week.
- I focused on mindfulness exercises like breathwork to get used to not being exposed to a lot of stimuli
- When I felt the urge to reach for my phone for no reason, I consciously paused and asked myself: “Is it necessary?” and 9 times out of 10, it wasn’t.
- Instead of texting my friends for connection, I asked them to develop real-life connections.
- I would try to remember information without Googling it right away
- I purchased an alarm clock instead of using my phone as an alarm so I wouldn’t be compelled to scroll in the morning
- I had a maximum screentime rule of 2 hours per day. For someone with daily 6 hours, it was a lot! And I intend to make it less over time.
- I turned off all my notifications because they are a constant distraction.
Less screen time would mean more boredom and less dopamine. Because phones give us dopamine boosts that are responsible for keeping us happy at all times. I knew that to decrease my screentime, I needed to find more natural ways to boost my dopamine, so I constantly did some of these therapy dupes.