Self-care has been a trendy topic for some time now. You’ll hear and see the term “self-care” on literally every single social media platform, which makes it both a blessing that people are understanding how to better take care of themselves and a curse because of how the concept gets wrongly practiced.
What is self-care?
The idea of self-care seems pretty much self-explanatory; you take care of yourself. But, self-care is so much more than that. Sometimes self-care is taking a break from work obligations in the midst of a busy week, and other days it’s forcing yourself to get back to work no matter how uncomfortable it is.
That’s when the confusion happens. Because we see aesthetic self-care reels on Instagram, self-care habits to cultivate on Pinterest, and tweets about people who do things in the name of self-care on Twitter, we lose sight of what caring for yourself actually means.
What true self-care is to make the choices that are better for you; hard and easy ones. Self-care is recognizing the power of the habits you build over time and how they take a toll on your quality of life. Self-care is knowing when to rest and when you need to push yourself.
It’s knowing when you need to put other people’s needs aside, and when to put yours. Self-care is building the life you want and creating balance. Because self-care is a lot more than bubble baths and online shopping, let’s explore the 7 pillars of self-care and when to use each one of them.
Understanding the pillars of self-care is important because sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the number of self-care practices, that we don’t know what we should do to feel better. Categorizing self-care into pillars makes it easier to know what pillars, or aspects, you need to work on, instead of trying to incorporate every self-care practice all at once.
The pillars of self-care:
- Spiritual
- Physical
- Emotional
- Mental
- Recreational
- Environmental
- Social
Spirtual self-care
I once heard someone who said: “You can eat your vegetables, exercise, and clean your home, but if you don’t fix what’s going on instead of your head, none of it will work”. And this is the truest thing I’ve heard in a long time.
Spiritual self-care is one of the most underestimated aspects of self-care. It requires you to deepen your connection with yourself and what’s meaningful to you. As the name suggests, it’s taking care of your spirit and what makes you, you. Beyond any other materialistic matter.
Spiritual self-care is very personal; for some, it could be all about practicing religion, for others, it’s entirely different, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. Spirituality gives you a sense of relief because of the reassurance it provides.
It also helps you understand yourself better and connect with your unconscious mind. Some of us believe that what we think of is only what we believe, but, what happens in the unconscious mind is beyond us.
It takes a lot of practice, meditation, and self-awareness to heal and have control over our unconscious mind. I believe that the most powerful people are not those who understand everything and everyone, but those who understand themselves.
Practicing spiritual self-care can be done in several ways, including:
Meditation
Some people believe that the only way to meditate is to sit down in a completely quiet place, surrounded by nature, and guided by some meditation guru. But, that isn’t true. Meditation could be done anywhere, at any time.
It could be 2 minutes and could be 2 hours. All you have to do is simply take a few minutes off and listen to your body. According to the Mayo Clinic, meditation reduces stress, increases self-awareness, increases imagination and creativity, and allows you to focus on the present moment.
Spending time in nature
I have never understood the benefits of spending time in nature until I didn’t. We have everything we need to heal ourselves; physically, mentally, and spiritually, in nature. But only if we notice the difference and stop looking for the fastest anti-dote.
In a spiritual sense, nature makes me feel like I’m part of something bigger than myself. I notice how every living being is part of a huge cycle that’s hugely dependant on one another, that we all together can thrive by taking care of each other.
It increases the sense of calmness, the sun increases dopamine in the body, decreases anxiety and depression, according to the wellness center at McMaster University.
Journaling
Journaling could be done in several ways and for several purposes. Personally, I do a mix of everything. Gratitude, writing down my feelings, organizing my thoughts, planning, and determining my values and morals.
Of course, we all have an idea of what our values and morals are. What we stand by, tolerate, and what we don’t. But if someone asks you what they are, you’ll have a broad idea. So, writing them down helps you know exactly what they are – like they’re engraved in your mind.
What I did is I wrote down all my values in life (integrity, honesty, family, career, empathy, etc…) it could be anything and narrowed them down to around 10. It helped a lot in getting a hold of what I actually stand for and believe in. So, when I face a decision in life, the list I’ve written down serves as a blueprint.
Gratitude is also a beneficial spiritual self-care practice. Practicing gratitude raises your vibrations, and makes you more thankful for what you have in life. Honestly, I’ve never known that I had that much until I wrote it down. And when I’m feeling that life is unfair, I read my gratitude list again to remind myself that there’s so much to be grateful for.
Write down a list of things that you’re grateful for. It could be your pet, house, friends, clean water, cooking skills, job, sibling, air conditioner, anything! Gratitude makes you feel more content and happy. That’s why it’s one of the most effective spiritual self-care practices.
Physical self-care
Physical self-care is one of the most popular self-care practices. It involves you taking care of your body through regular exercise, proper nutrition, and quality sleep. Physical self-care affects every area in your life because when you don’t take care of your body your energy levels will drop and so will your self-esteem.
Here are some ways to take care of yourself physically:
Exercise
Honestly, I have stopped labeling what exercise is. A walk? I consider it exercise. A 10-minute workout? Also, exercise. The all-or-nothing mentality I used to have made me skip exercise if I couldn’t complete a full workout. Now, my mindset towards exercise has completely shifted.
I listen to my body and what it needs, while still pushing myself. Some days I go for a tough workout at the gym or go to a yoga class, and others I complete a simple at-home workout or take a walk outside. It depends on how I’m feeling this day.
Make a conscious choice to move your body every day even if it’s for a simple walk. By listening to your body more and giving it the love it deserves, exercise shifts from being a chore you want to check off your list to something you actually look forward to doing.
Nutrition
Eating better is one of the most wrongly-practiced aspects of physical self-care. For so long, we’ve been programmed that there’s “bad” food and “good”. We have labeled food for so many years, and that’s why a huge percentage of us have developed a bad relationship with food.
As a matter of fact, at least 9% of the global population has an eating disorder, according to ANAD. That’s a huge number of people! So, the first step is to stop putting labels on food. There’s no bad food and good food, there’s balance.
I like to utilize the 80/20 rule, where you eat 80% nutrient-dense foods, and 20% of whatever food you want that doesn’t have that much nutritional value (noticed how I didn’t say good/bad?).
Also, a rule I like to follow most of the time is to have vegetables with every single meal I eat. That’s because it makes me full faster, vegetables have tremendous benefits, and because I genuinely enjoy eating vegetables.
Sometimes your body signals that you’re hungry when instead, your body is begging you to feed it certain nutrients. So when you eat nutrient-dense most of the time, your body won’t soar with hunger trying to tell you to eat them.
Sleep
Sleep. Quality sleep in specific. The quality of our sleep is one of the most underestimated health factors in every person’s life. You could eat well, exercise, and drink your water, but if your sleep quality is bad, you’re going to wake up tired no matter what.
Quality sleep doesn’t solely depend on the number of hours of sleep you get, there are many other factors that dictate your quality of sleep. Starting with the time you go to bed, and the time you wake up.
Naturally, our bodies are programmed to sleep at night – when there’s no light and wake up in the morning. So, even if you sleep for long hours, but during the day, that won’t be enough. Try to sleep during the night and wake up during the day.
Also, screen time affects your quality of sleep. According to Sutter Health, screens produce what is called “blue light”. This blue light reduces the production of melatonin which results in our brains not shutting down when we’re asleep. That’s why you’ll sometimes feel like you’re half asleep – half awake.
Emotional self-care
Emotional self-care is taking care of your heart – of your emotions, how you talk to yourself, how you let what others do/think of you affect you, the way you talk to yourself, your coping mechanisms, and many other things.
We’re constantly doing things in life that we could get caught up in an “emotional rut” if we don’t practice emotional self-care regularly. Not only does it benefit you, but it makes you connect better with those around you, and makes you more “zen”.
Here are some ways to take care of yourself emotionally:
Notice the way you talk to yourself
Your thoughts are not you, you are not your thoughts. They’re merely just – thoughts. We’re humans, we can think of anything at any time, but when we lose control over our thoughts, it takes a huge toll on our emotional health.
I understand that it’s probably impossible to monitor your thoughts all the time, but practice being more mindful. Be mindful of the way you talk to yourself when you do something wrong, when you don’t like something about yourself, when you’ve gained some extra pounds, when you’ve failed a test, etc…
When we let our unconscious mind take the lead, we lose control over our minds. The key to this is to notice thought patterns and change them, one at a time. Notice what triggers negative thoughts, and dig deeper into these triggers.
For example, if you constantly get negative thoughts about your body when you’re with that super athletic friend, ask yourself, “Why am I getting jealous, does this have to do with me or her? How can I shift this jealousy into inspiration?”
I mean, hell yeah, you’re going to meet a lot of people with incredibly good bodies, does that mean that you have to criticize yourself every time? Of course not. Become aware of what your thoughts are telling you, and dig deeper into these insights.
One piece of advice I’ve heard that I’ll always remember is to imagine that your best friend is telling you something negative about themselves, how would you react? What would you tell them? You certainly won’t tell someone you love that what they’re thinking of is true and that they’re truly a failure. Then why tell yourself? Why treat someone else better than you treat yourself?
Sometimes you become your harshest critique. So, change the narrative – become your biggest supporter. Talk to yourself the same way you’d talk to someone you love.
Learn how to self-soothe
Self-soothing is basically your coping mechanism, and that looks different for everyone. Think of things that make you feel good, relaxed, and calm. Write a list of these things, and do these things regularly, especially when you’re experiencing negative emotions.
For instance, when I’m, I always go for a run. It’s my way of self-soothing the anger, and 9 times out of 10, it works. I release all the built-up anger into something that’s good for me. The same applies to everything.
When I’m feeling anxious, I put down anything that’s stimulating like my phone, and do some breathwork. Everyone self-soothes differently, so find what works best for you, and implement those things into your life.
Mental self-care
Mental self-care is taking care of your mind by adopting habits that are beneficial for it. Doing things that stimulate your mind, things that broaden your perspective – making you think in a different way.
Things to do to take care of yourself mentally:
Stimulating your brain
Have you ever noticed that when you haven’t studied or worked for some time, and get back, you experience what looks like a brain fog? That’s because you haven’t “stimulated” your brain for a period of time.
That’s why engaging in practices that stimulate your brain as part of your daily routine improves your brain’s functionality. It could be anything; reading, learning a new skill, studying, solving m maths problems, playing cards, playing chess, puzzles, anything you enjoy doing!
Unplugging
We’re so used to having our phones stuck in our hands that we don’t know what it feels like to not have them. According to Scientific American, it has been proven that because we’re constantly distracted, our cognitive abilities are affected by the use of technology.
To take care of yourself mentally, make an effort to unplug from time to time. Our brains do incredible things when we’re bored, so allow yourself to be bored. Give your brain a break from that ongoing cycle of dopamine rush and crash.
Recreational self-care
Recreational self-care is doing things that you enjoy. It’s making the most out of the time you’re not working in by engaging in new experiences, activities, and hobbies.
It doesn’t have to be something with others, you could go on adventures alone, do some tweaks, or have some time alone doing nothing.
Here are some ways to practice recreational self-care:
Engage in creative activities
Maybe you’ve been fascinated by oil paintings for so long, but think that there’s no time for it… or have been brushing off the idea for some time. Whatever creative activity you’re interested in, take some time to try it out.
You can go to a one-time class, a workshop, or even some YouTube tutorials. You can even figure it out by yourself by experimenting or with a friend who has a background in the activity.
Alone time
The older I get, the more I’m finding ways to enjoy my alone time and engage in routines that make me enjoy my time alone. Knowing how to enjoy yourself without the company of others is essential to your growth… It helps you know more about yourself and be comfortable in your skin.
Environmental self-care
Environmental self-care, the same as the name implies, means that you take care of your surroundings – your environment. I believe that being surrounded by things and spaces that resonate with who you make you thrive and feel more secure.
Here are some ways to take care of yourself environmentally:
Make your room yours
If your room doesn’t resonate with who you are right now, it’s time for a change. It doesn’t have to be a major makeover that costs a lot, you could do simple things that you love being surrounded by.
For instance, I like hanging my weekly planner on the walls – it makes me feel more organized and structured. There are also some decorative pieces that I love so much. Find what you love, and use it to make your room yours.
Five senses
Surround yourself with things that appeal to your senses. This could be anything. Such as lighting a scented candle, putting on some music, adjusting the lighting to your preferences, anything that makes you feel more comfortable!
Social self-care
Social self-care is a type that isn’t about you, it’s about the people you surround yourself with. Human beings thrive on connections. Naturally, we love socializing with other people, however, there are things that hold some of us back such as social anxiety and the fear of judgment.
Practicing social self-care is cultivating meaningful and healthy relationships with others. Relationships that make you feel like you belong and good about yourself.
Here are things to do to take care of yourself socially:
Finding the right company
For years, I’ve been struggling with finding “my people” – those who make me feel comfortable and myself. Until I started noticing my energy after I spend time with people. What energy do I have? Is it positive or negative? Do I feel good after spending time with those people?
Asking myself those questions and becoming aware of my energy around certain people has helped me know who are the people I enjoy myself with and who have a negative effect on me. They could be totally nice people, but they’re just not my type.
Become part of a community
You can join a community either online or in real life. Whatever you’re interested in, there’s a community for it. Whether it’s a community for cat lovers, astrophotographers, shopping lovers, anything!
Connect with them, maybe arrange a hangout. Share what’s going on from time to time. It makes me feel like a part of something, and that you can share what you love with others.