By Cora Pursley from Dupe
Feeling unstuck and wondering, “Why am I so unhappy at work?”, the answer is probably yes if you’ve found this article. Let me tell you that you’re not alone in this struggle, and coming to this point of realization is already a huge step forward.
We’ve all felt that rush of excitement when landing a new job; the endless prep, the nerve-wrecking interviews, finally getting that “yes!” Whether it’s your first role ever or you’ve left your previous position for this opportunity, starting something new feels absolutely euphoric.
But then reality hits and excitement fades, and you realize this is not what you expected it to be like at all.
If you’re thinking that “I’m unhappy at work” or “I’m completely unhappy with my job”, don’t worry at all. It’s more common than you think that people accept jobs thinking it’s the perfect match, only to find themselves unhappy. You haven’t failed; this job or work environment is just not a match for you.
One of my team members at work is constantly number 1, not just within the region, but globally. I kept hearing of him and how good he is at what he does, even though I work on a different continent, and when I started working closely with him, I was completely surprised by how humble and “normal” he is.
He was telling me how he’s failed at many jobs before, and there were times when he felt like a complete failure, until he found this job and became the absolute best.
He’d also tell me not to be so attached, and change is inevitable in your career. To control what you can, and leave the rest, the uncontrollable. To do your best every day, control the input, and the output will follow. And that’s the advice I live by, as simple as this:
Do your best, put effort into what you can control, forget about the rest, and if still unsatisfied, change.
I truly believe that life is as simple as that. Oh, and not to forget, always keep your eye on the market. Do interviews, ask the people you meet about their jobs, search on job portals, and always know your worth in the job market, and have options.
Now let’s walk through together why you could be unhappy at work and how to fix the situation.
The reality check: why being unhappy at work is more common than you think
Here’s the thing that no one really realizes: being unhappy at work affects millions of people daily. A lot of these people could be around you, and you’d never know it. They could be the ones initiating those “team building” and taking initiatives at work while thinking every day about how to quit. And you’re there thinking: “How can I be as happy as this person at my job?”. But the grass always looks greener from the outside.
During my own career journey, I’ve learned that companies put their best face forward during the interview process, just like we do. They’re selling you the dream version of the role, the team, the culture. It’s completely normal to discover that the reality inside doesn’t match what they showcased during those polished interview sessions.
The first step here is to not suppress what you’re feeling and be honest with yourself.
Understanding your “not happy at work” feelings: Is it the job or the adjustment?
Change is terrifying, even when it’s supposed to be good for us. Starting a new job means adapting to:
- A new physical environment or remote setup
- Different management styles and expectations
- Fresh coworkers with their own personalities and work styles
- New systems, processes, and technologies
- An entirely different daily routine
- And sometimes, understanding “internal company politics”
All this newness can make it challenging to determine whether you’re truly unhappy with your job or simply overwhelmed by the adjustment period.
Some self-reflection questions for work fulfillment:
Ask yourself these honest questions:
- Am I unhappy with the actual work, or am I struggling with imposter syndrome?
- Is this about the job itself, or am I frustrated that I’m not instantly excellent at everything?
- Do I feel pressured to prove myself, but haven’t given myself enough time?
- Are my expectations realistic for someone in their first few months?
If you’re nodding yes to the latter parts of these questions, you might just need more time to settle in. Work fulfillment often comes after you’ve found your rhythm and built confidence in your role.
When you know you’re genuinely unhappy at work: red flags to watch for
Sometimes, though, the feeling of being unhappy at work goes deeper than adjustment anxiety. Here are the red flags that signal it’s time to take some action:
Cultural misalignment signs:
- Your values clash fundamentally with company practices
- Work-life balance is non-existent or actively discouraged
- Employee well-being takes a backseat to productivity metrics
- Communication is consistently poor or toxic
- Growth opportunities are limited or non-existent
Personal fulfillment indicators:
- You dread Monday mornings (and Tuesday, Wednesday…)
- Your skills and talents feel underutilized
- The work doesn’t align with your long-term career goals
- Your mental health is suffering consistently
- You’ve lost motivation despite giving it time
Your action plan: moving from “unhappy with job” to “thriving at work”
Step 1: Create your exit strategy (but don’t jump ship yet)
I cannot stress this enough: NEVER quit impulsively without a plan. I’ve seen too many people make emotional decisions that led to instant regret for not thinking it through before. Doing this could lead to financial stress in the transition period and not being able to take your full rights when leaving.
Instead, create a strategic timeline that looks like this (doesn’t have to be exactly, adjust to your personal situation):
- Month 1-2: Document your concerns and attempt internal solutions
- Month 3-4: Begin job searching and networking (without telling anyone, I know it’s tempting to tell your closest friends at work, but don’t)
- Month 5-6: Go through interviews and filter out your options
- Month 6+: Make your move when you have a solid offer
Also, have your dopamine menu to create these small self-care moments during your work day.
Step 2: Leverage your network for better opportunities
- Reach out to former colleagues and managers
- Update your Linkedin profile
- Join industry-specific groups and communities
- Attend virtual or in-person networking events
- Consider informational interviews with people in roles you want to reach
Tip: When reaching out, don’t immediately jump into asking for job leads. Focus on rebuilding relationships. Genuine connections lead to better opportunities.
Step 3: Consider all your options (even ones that might sound a bit odd)
Returning to your previous role: This might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes going back to a previous role can be your smartest strategic move. Many employees welcome back former employees because:
- You already know the systems and culture
- Training time is minimal
- You bring fresh perspectives from your recent experience
Freelancing or contract work: If your current situation is truly unbearable, consider bridge opportunities:
- Project-based work in your field
- Consulting for former employers
- Part-time roles that provide income while you search
How to turn your experience into growth: the value of being unhappy at work
Here’s something I wish someone had told me earlier, and it is a definite reality in life, whether at work or any other aspect of life: every job experience, good or bad, teaches you something valuable.
What this experience has taught you:
- Clarity of non-negotiables: You now know what workplace cultures and management styles don’t work for you
- Improved interview skills: You’ll ask better questions next time and spot red flags earlier
- Stronger self-advocacy: You’re learning to trust your instincts about workplace fit
- Enhanced resilience: Navigating job dissatisfaction builds emotional intelligence and coping skills
Red flags you’ll never ignore again:
- Vague job descriptions that seem “too good to be true”
- Companies that can’t provide clear examples of career growth paths
- Interviewees who dodge questions about work-life balance or can’t provide solid answers
- High turnover rates in the department you’re joining
- Glassdoor reviews that consistently mention the same issues
Remember: you deserve work that fulfills you
Personally, I don’t prefer the idea of “being married to your job” to taking things too personally, as your job shouldn’t be your entire life, it’s just a part of it and in the end of the day, everyone, even your boss, just wants to go home and get paid. I always remind myself of that when I get too caught up and take things personally: it’s just a job. But that doesn’t mean I don’t pursue work fulfillment, as my job takes up a lot of time in my life.
Being unhappy with your job doesn’t make you ungrateful or weak; it makes you human, with human needs. In fact, recognizing that you deserve better is the first step toward creating meaningful change in your career.
Your current situation is temporary. Every day you spend strategically working toward something better is an investment in your future happiness and work fulfillment.
Finding work that truly fulfills you is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself, especially in the early stages of your career–some people quit 10 years into a company, and it’s not easy to change. Be patient with yourself, stay strategic, and trust that better opportunities are ahead.